Vent It Out

These thoughts have been circling around my head for a while now so I might as well just let it all out here to feel better.

Today in the service, the preacher talked about learning to open up to others. He said that we should not keep our problems to ourselves because eventually it would build up and consume us.

But how could I open up when I can't feel like I can trust you? How could I build that trust with someone when it's not easy to talk to you?

Perhaps I'll just share something about myself. Right now, I'm having issues with my projects-- my essay and my competition brief. And it's troubling me like crazy. I wish I could tell someone of my problems, but it's not easy telling it to someone. To me, I can't just tell my problems to just some person. As much as I wish someone would care for me, I don't wish to burden a friend about my problems, especially if he or she have problems of their own that I'm not aware of. And another reason why I don't tell is because I feel like it's just temporary and it would go away eventually.

The hard thing thinking about this is it's affecting my social life. Sometimes I just don't feel like being friendly or bubbly or sociable. It's like the anti-me. I know this is not a good thing because people would avoid people like me, not the chatty type or the social type. This is why I don't like feel comfortable in big groups. It's so overwhelming that I feel like drowning in the crowd.

And when I'm troubled, I push people away. That's the worst thing.

Perhaps the only time when I feel like being in a big crowd is when I'm in a concert, but that's a different story.

Perhaps what I need right now is to listen to some soothing music. Hopefully it would make me feel better tonight. Because after blogging this post, I gotta burn the midnight oil.

Okay. I'm done ranting now. It was nice letting this off my chest.

Who says we should open up to others when we could do it through blogging? Ha ha.